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Please always feel free to leave me any comments, advice or criticism in my writing that you might have. I will not know unless you tell me. Thank you for your time and help!
I choose to add the music video of Raise the Flag by Machine Gun Kelly. Not only do I think the song is great but the video as well. When I first heard the song I just liked the beat and rhythm. Then once I actually listened to the song I loved it. Then I watched the movie and it had become one of my all-time favorite songs. Just like the saying a picture can say a thousand words. Well a video can say a million.
Check out more of MGK's songs on youtube.
Hi Ashlie!
ReplyDeleteWhen I first opened up your website it took me to the cover page. I liked the image you chose but I would suggest making it much bigger. I couldn't really tell what it was without staring at it for a long time and you want your reader to get what it is easily.
I really enjoyed your introduction! All of the visual details provided great context for the setting of the story and I could picture exactly what was happening.
I kept wondering how things that you brought up would come to be important later. For example, you mentioned she ripped her clothes, and I thought I wonder why unless should is going to get new clothes? Then I loved that you answered my thoughts and tied it all together.
I can't wait to come back and read how those three objects have important meanings for the Cherokee people.
Good job, you definitely have my attention!
Hey! At first glance your storybook seems like it is going to be a very mysterious one because of all of the dark black and grey. However, the title does not give off the exact same effect. The Dreamer sounds like hope which makes me question all of the black theme. I like how you chose a picture that ties in very well to the title. I immediately noticed that it was a dream catcher because I used to make them in girl scouts. It makes me think that you might have a native American theme in your storybook because that is where dream catchers originated. Also I can not help but take notice to the wolves in the pictures. Could a wolf be the main character of your storybook or play a large part in it? I can not wait to see what your storybook brings and how you build on the stories.
ReplyDeleteHi Ashlie!
ReplyDeleteI really loved looking at your blog recently so I am using it as one as my inspirations! What I really like is the pinterest board in the sidebar. I really like the idea and may be adding one to my blog sometime soon. Keep up the great work!!!
I love that you have both the weather and Pinterest widgets in the sidebar! I think I'm going to put the Pinterest board in my sidebar just like you did!
ReplyDeleteI love that you have a Pinterest board widget! What a great idea, I will have to try that out!
ReplyDeleteI really like that you have Pinterest board on the side of your blog. Your boards are also on the opposite side of most people's so I like the change!
ReplyDeleteI really like your song choice! When it first started I recognized Florence and The Machine's voice in it, and I love her!! I also thought the music video itself was super artsy and all the changing scenes from dark in the alley-ish place to the sunny sunflower field made it really cool to watch. The only song I know by MGK is probably Wild Boy lol.
ReplyDeleteWow, what a great story! First, I loved how your story was written as a dream. It was so fascinating looking inside someone else’s mind and trying to picture the dream they are in. I really enjoyed the part when Kira discovered the four different seasons. I also really liked the part where the bear was telling a story to the animals. I thought it was cool how you put a story inside a dream (kind of inception like if you ask me!). The ending was very strong and helped wrap up the story. What if the grandmother had a larger role in the story? What if she woke up her granddaughter right as she was about to uncover some huge secret to the creation story?! These are just some fun ideas you could try in your next story. Overall, I loved it and was captivated the entire time. You did a wonderful job!
ReplyDeleteYour story book is great so far! It definitely captured my attention and I loved reading it. The introduction was so great for letting readers know what they could expect in the stories. I love that your introduction told us about what Kira was doing and why she was going on her journey. I think it's great that she wanted to know more about her ancestry and find out who she was. I loved the story about how the world was made when I was reading the Cherokee Myths Unit, so I was super excited that your first story was based off of that! It was also cool that you did it as a dream. It was great that she was able to learn about the different seasons. Maybe you could give more examples of things she learned in the dream? Like more reasons about why the earth is the way that it is. I loved your story overall! Great job.
ReplyDeleteAshlie,
ReplyDeleteGreat introduction! This story was so fascinating and tied so well into the Native Indian traditions! I am currently in a Native American Philosophy class and have studied the Native Americans quite a bit in a past religion course also. I loved the "dream" state she entered into beside the fire; this ties very well into their culture considering they are probably the most spiritual people I have studied. Rather it be drug induced from ingesting peyote or deep meditative trances, the American Indians have a very deep connection with all things on this earth and I can already sense those vibes from your interesting intro, great job. I am very curious about your future stories and cant wait to read them!
Alex
I like the music video you chose! I haven't heard that song before but I agree with you, the beat is really good.
ReplyDeleteI also really like the idea you chose for your storybook. It is always fascinating to learn about the heritage that makes you you. I am also doing a storybook that is based on Native Americans and I think their heritage specifically is fascinating. There is so much tradition and struggle in their story and I feel like they have a lot of wisdom when it comes to living life. I like how you are having this all occur in a dream too. Dreams are so powerful yet so mysterious. I have heard some really crazy stories about dreams that people have and sometimes they seem supernatural in a way. I really love Native American art too so I am glad that you incorporated that as one of the stories the great-grandmother is going to teach her about. I am a health and exercise science students at OU and the different herbs and nuts that are used for medicinal purposes sounds interesting to me. I am a huge proponent of holistic medicine and believe that our society today has become to reliant on pharmaceuticals that can do more harm then good a lot of the time. Don't get me wrong, there is a lot of miracles in western medicine but there is also a lot out there that are being sold just to make money and keep people dependent. I would love to learn more about how the cherokees viewed medicine and healing people. I have no idea what the feather and the horn could be about but I think that makes it all the more interesting. I was thinking maybe it would be a story about a famous warrior from their tribe. I have a favorite picture of a Native American warrior riding horseback through a forest of birch trees and it is the coolest picture I have ever seen. You should try and check it out because it is incredible. Overall I think you have a great idea here and I look forward to reading your stories. Good luck!
I just read The Creation during my search for new storybooks to comment on this week. I really liked the idea you chose of learning about the Cherokee! I hadn't read much about them so it was interesting to read.
ReplyDeleteI almost laughed out loud when the girl discovered she was a water beetle. I know it maybe isn't supposed to be funny, but can you imagine if you woke up and you were a beetle? I know I would be freaking out but Kira took it so well and seemed to just move on with her life. I also really liked the twist at the end that Kira was only having a dream. From what I've read, dreams seem to be a really big part of Native American culture, so I think its great that you wove that in! I look forward to finding out where Kira's adventures take her next!